um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
