just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
