hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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