glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
