They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
