Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
