I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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