yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
