The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You need Xanax blowdarts
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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