So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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