What did we do last night that was yellow?
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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