So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
