new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Bring me that man meat
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
