Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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