Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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