I need help removing her.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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