youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
