that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My hand turned me down
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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