Dual....:-)
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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