Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
