I hate all girls vehemently.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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