ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
