I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
