She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
