she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
