so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
