Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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