That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
