Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
