And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
