I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
