at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
