Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
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