Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Randomize
