hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I've blown a few things in my day
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
