and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
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