I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
