no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm like, not good at living.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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