she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
