I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
As shirtless as possible
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
FUCK WHALES
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
