i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
