I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
He kissed a someone with a penis
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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