What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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