I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
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