even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
