Im at strip club and am horny
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
