Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
