Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
