of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Randomize
