ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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