i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize