I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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