Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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