remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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