This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
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