You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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