dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I think people are normalizing furries
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize