Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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