What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
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