i love accidental penises.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Someone signed my nipple.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
