Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
