just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
