Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I wish they made helmets for livers.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
