i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
