you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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