Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
