Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Randomize
