the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
